Addicted To Anxiety: How to Break the Habit
Everyone should read this book by psychotherapist and leading mental health expert, Owen O’Kane. Why? Anxiety is everywhere, and more and more it’s becoming a prevalent disruptor of health. Sure, you may not feel that you’re addicted to anxiety, but this book demonstrates how even the mildest relationship with your anxious self can turn into a habit worth breaking.
We are ramping up our levels of anxiety daily, from uncertainty in the workplace, stress-inducing media feeds, and the negative energy building all around us. It seems like catastrophizing is the new black! So, it’s impossible not to feel anxious. But how do you make a healthy relationship with your anxiety so it doesn’t control you, or yes, become an addiction?
This book explores the root of anxiety, offers strategies for breaking the addictive habit, and provides tools for thoughtfully managing it so it doesn’t become an ongoing disruption in your life.
There’s a funny irony the author explores, one I’ve experienced and would imagine you have too now and again—being anxious about not feeling anxious or about not having something to worry about. After all, it’s our new normal. We’re stressed and overwhelmed, and if you’re not, well then you have a problem. Isn’t that wild?
The author shares how anxiety can be unknowingly addictive because the chemicals produced in the body during anxiety align with those produced when we’re excited or aroused. This can create an unconscious dependence on anxiety. Being in a continual state of scouting for solutions and grasping for control helps us feel safe. But that internal alert system (fight-or-flight), while good in certain circumstances, such as fleeing from a dangerous animal, isn’t meant to be on all the time. When our bodies are continually humming in this zone, we’ll eventually exhaust ourselves and become sick (or worse). If we are turning on this button all the time to feel safe and avoid anything unknown or fearful, we may be addicted to anxiety.
Owen explores the behavioral traits that are associated with anxiety, such as avoidance, need for approval, distraction, catastrophizing, irritability, dread, or seemingly innocent behaviors such as checking and rechecking locks before you leave the house. These are often means of coping and avoiding threats to safety and comfort in both the outer and inner worlds. The author apologizes for using the term’ addiction’ in this context. Still, it’s spot on, like any addiction, be it substances or food, one experiments with it, and if it serves as an escape, then it can easily become a habit. But once it’s identified, it can be broken down, and he provides several tools and exercises to do so.
He starts by sharing how anxiety is not our foe. It can help us, and when we are mindful of how it exists within us, we can detach from it and manage it. I like the easy-to-remember acronyms he’s created for the steps that help, and the various client stories he shares, which I imagine every reader will find one relatable. The strategies for breaking the cycle span the breadth of the book and are invaluable, even for managing small spikes of anxiety or heavy feelings of overwhelm. He teaches grounding, breathing, lifestyle changes, and demystifying steps that can help prevent or diffuse triggers and damaging responses. The author also shares his story and his personal relationship with anxiety, but thoughtfully reserves this until the end of the book, so the book is less about him and more about meeting the reader’s needs. The end-of-chapter highlights are extensive, which is fantastic, because there’s a lot to explore and learn, so having a nice recap of key takeaways helps.
I highly recommend this book for everyone to read because they’ll gain something from it. I also award it a Gold Star Solutions Book. Hey, even if you don’t feel like you’re more anxious than not, this book is a great resource when you and someone you know want to have a healthier relationship with anxiety.
Book and Image Courtesy of St. Martin’s Press and Netgalley
