Author Q&A With Mel Robinson

Mel Robinson is a strategist and former change leader who spent two decades solving complex people problems—mostly while quietly burning out in the process. With a background in leadership, team dynamics, and emotional fluency, she built a career by making things work. Until life stopped working the way she planned.

Her book, This Wasn’t the Plan: Grieving the Golden Years that Never Came, is part memoir, part mirror—for those who’ve over-functioned too long, kept the peace at their own expense, or lost themselves inside roles that no longer fit. Now, Mel helps high-capacity humans reclaim their clarity, energy, and boundaries—without burning everything down to start over. She lives in Queensland, Australia, and is the creator of Clarity Nudge™, the Pre-Decision Ritual, and FRANKI—the digital boundary bot with bite. Her work is sharp, soulful, and built for anyone who’s done being useful… and ready to start being whole. Meet Mel:

You are an author, but is it your day job? If not, what fills your days? Writing is becoming my day job, but I haven’t entirely escaped the world I came from. I still work with organisations and leaders, helping them navigate people problems, change, and the general emotional chaos of being human at work. And when I’m not doing that, I’m a part-time life-coach/tech-support/meal-prep consultant for my dad, while still checking in on my adult children. So yes — I write, but my life is definitely still lived in the messy middle.

Did you always want to be an author? Not in the romantic “scribbling in notebooks under a tree” kind of way. But I’ve always written my way through life — emails, speeches, reflections, and long rambles in my Notes app. Becoming an author wasn’t a childhood dream so much as a slow realisation that the stories I’d been carrying needed somewhere to land. Writing a book wasn’t a goal — it was a pressure valve. And maybe it’s an age thing, but looking back, I can see the legacy threaded through my writing. It’s opening up conversations I never knew were possible, and in plenty of time for deeper connections.

I tried to follow the thread in my Peace Room — my tiny sanctuary that kept getting invaded by adult children and other crises. I was grieving the freedom, the travel, the ease I thought would arrive with midlife… and realising motherhood, daughterhood, and life in general don’t come with a finish line. That grief needed somewhere to go, so I wrote my way through it.

How do you hope your book will uplift readers? I hope people feel seen. Especially women in midlife who are quietly carrying families, ageing parents, rising costs, and their own invisible heartbreaks. We’re told to “be grateful” and “enjoy this phase,” but there’s a loneliness in the gap between expectation and reality. If my book permits anyone to exhale, to name their grief, or to realise they’re not failing — they’re human — then that’s the lift I care about.

What are you most excited about with this book? The conversations it sparks. Every time someone messages me saying, “I thought it was just me,” it feels like I’ve cracked some kind of emotional conspiracy. I love that a book about midlife grief, humour, and honesty is giving women language for things they’ve been swallowing for years.

How did writing a book help your career take off?
It gave me a voice that wasn’t filtered through a meeting agenda or leadership framework. Writing this book clarified my work in a way no business plan ever did — it showed me what I actually care about: boundaries, emotional clarity, and helping people feel less alone in the messy bits of life. It’s opened doors in speaking, coaching, and collaborations, because people connect with truth faster than tactics. It also sparked a creativity I didn’t know I had — I’ve even built GPT-based tools that act as boundary coaches, asking people the kinds of questions that help them make clearer decisions. It’s been an unexpected but really joyful evolution.

What advice would you give someone wanting to succeed in your professional industry?
Be real. People can smell performance a mile away. Whether you’re writing, leading, coaching, or creating, your best work comes from the part of you that you’re slightly scared to show. Find what you’re passionate about. Yes, it’s cliché, but when self-doubt pops up (and it will), passion is what keeps you going. And pace yourself — you can’t build anything meaningful if you’re running on fumes and resentment.

How do you handle setbacks and criticism? Badly, at first — I’m human. I usually take a walk, mutter to myself, eat something carby, and eventually return to earth. Over time, I’ve realised that criticism hurts most when it touches something true. Writing about the messiness of my life forced me to confront things I didn’t want to look at. But that’s also what helped me to set better boundaries and stop doing things out of obligation.

Being an author today is like running a business. How do you manage your publicity and social media and maintain engagement with readers? Oh, it’s hard — and I struggle with it every day. Self-promotion is honestly the most challenging part for me. So I keep it simple: I share stories, not strategies. I write the way I speak. I don’t aim for perfection — just resonance. Midlife women have zero tolerance for fluff, and when I’m real, people stay. When I’m trying too hard, they scroll straight past.

How do you hold yourself accountable and achieve the goals you set forth? I check in with my own energy. If a goal drains me, it’s the wrong goal. If something sparks, I follow it. I also have a handful of honest friends who gently (and sometimes not-so-gently) call me out when I start carrying everyone else’s life instead of my own.

How do you structure your day and make time for writing? I write in the in-between moments — early mornings, quiet evenings, and those rare pockets of mid-day silence. I don’t wait for inspiration; I sit down, open the document, and start telling the truth. Some days it turns into a chapter. Some days it turns into a rant. Either way, it moves the story forward.

What do you find most fulfilling in the career you’ve chosen? The messages that start with: “I thought I was the only one.” Nothing is more meaningful than someone feeling less alone because you dared to be honest. In my consulting world, I also love it when people come back months or years later and say, “I didn’t get it then, but now I do.” You don’t always see the impact in the moment — sometimes the penny drops long after you’re gone.

What book uplifts you? Anything that tells the truth with humour. Memoirs where someone says the quiet part out loud. Books where women take up space without apologising. I’m drawn to writing that’s raw, honest, and comforting — like someone handing you a cup of tea and saying, “You’re not losing it. This is life.”

Anything else you’d like to share with your readers? Just this: It’s okay if your life didn’t turn out the way you planned. Mine didn’t either. But there’s a strange, beautiful freedom waiting when you stop trying to earn rest, permission, or worthiness. You have nothing to prove. And you’re allowed to reclaim your life — one tiny boundary at a time.

Get to know author Mel Robinson and grab a copy of her book via her Facebook Page.