Break Up with Narcissism: How to Break Free and Stay Free
I debated sharing my review of this book. It’s different than most books I review on this site, because of its unique message designed for a select audience. Then I returned to my mission: uplifting readers, writers, and authors through the life-changing power of books. Break Up with Narcissism by Dr. Alina Kastner shares my mission. And I also broadened my view of the readership. Anyone who’s lived or worked with a narcissist should be armed with the tools and support to “break up” that relationship for their own sanity and safety.
I was shocked at how subtly narcissistic people can be, casting their manipulative web over people. To be clear, we all have these tendencies, but those who are deeply ingrained in this behavior and weaponize it against others need to be stopped.
Dr. Kastner goes into detail about how a relationship with a narcissist or someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can range from unhealthy to abusive and even deadly. But she does so in a way that helps the reader understand what this behavior is and how realize you could be under the “control” of someone with NPD. With care, she shares how to reconnect with instincts and recognize the warning signs. Moving away from self-blame is a critical step, but it doesn’t come easily. This book is the friend and guide that supports that shift and shows how to transform from victim to victor.
This book is divided into four main parts, followed by a plethora of resources for support and further reading. In the first part, you’ll learn how to recognize a narcissist, even when they exist in a friendship or colleague. But Dr. Kastner directs most of this section to opening the eyes of those deeply embedded in a personal relationship, how addictive they may be to the lure of ‘love.’ Part two is all about navigating this storm, sharing strategies to help you cope while shoring up your courage. Part three outlines the steps for disengaging, while part four offers the tools to move forward toward freedom. I applaud the author for the continual check-in exercises she includes in each chapter, along with the case studies that mirror each phase of the transformative process.
I liken this book to a class everyone should take in their life, and an intervention how-to.
Though it’s not an easy book to review because it’s a complex subject matter, possibly a trigger, or even a hard truth. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth reading. In fact, I imagine we all have someone in our lives who could use the help Dr. Kastner offers. I wish I had had this book back when I knew someone who suffered a relationship with a narcissist. Perhaps if we had read it together, it would’ve sparked positive change.
Book and Image Courtesy of Quarto Publishing
