End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits
The author, Béatriz Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, has created a fantastic read for anyone struggling to please others under pressure. Whether that be a partner, colleague, boss, family, community, or friends, Béa sums this behavior succinctly: “Outsourcing emotional labor in exchange for validation from those in power” (or perceived power).
Despite the efforts of forward-thinking individuals who’ve made great strides in equality, Emotional Outsourcing (EO ™) remains a prevalent mindset.
She harkens back to history, where a significant thread of EO ™ can be traced to white settler colonialism in America. This pattern of community sustainability existed due to pressure to maintain the dominant structure. This is an excellent illustration of how EO ™ became so entrenched. In other words, unless you psychologically pledge fealty to head-down overworking and overachieving, you won’t be safe nor have worth.
Learning to live your life for others is a complex pattern to break.
In the moment, EO ™ might feel like a safe, easy, and instinctual way to keep conflict at bay, but this behavior is not limited to the “over-functioning.” She also shares how people who avoid responsibility are also culpable. Masking feelings and silencing your voice is not only unfair but an extremely unhealthy way to live. Change can happen, but as the author states, it requires a physical and mental commitment.
The book is incredibly fascinating.
Her trademarked term, Emotional Outsourcing, couldn’t be more spot on in describing this ingrained behavior that exists in many of us. The feeling of identity and security codependency can creep in when one least expects it. Unless you’re aware and can mindfully “right the ship,” it’s a slippery slope to giving over to others. The author is not challenging the reader to revolt but rather to find themselves again.
I’m genuinely impressed by her research, knowledge, expertise, and content. Béa has an impressive background, including experience in the medical, therapy, and somatic fields. She weaves all of this into a book that outlines strategies for healing both the mind and body of imposter syndrome, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and anxiety behaviors and related symptoms. By the tone of her writing and the thoughtful way she’s laid out the book (approachable) with the journal prompts and her charming endearments, it’s clear that Béa is an incredibly passionate and caring person. She comes by it honestly. This is not another woe is me and here’s how I climbed back self-help book. It’s a science-backed manual for sustainable change.
If you want more for yourself in all that you do, read Emotional Outsourcing. Béa is truly a champion of her clients (and now you, her reader) in regaining their emotional independence, power, and self-worth.
Book and Image Courtesy of Smith Publicity
