It can happen to the best of us. Fame, fortune, and followers bloom, boosting confidence to unimaginable heights. But most people have folks in their corner to help keep egos in check. Family, friends, colleagues, kids, or, yes, a setback or negative comment may gently or harshly rebalance the scales. Authors understand this well; if forgotten, a rough review serves to remind.
Still, a few folks don’t seem to get the hint.
They let success go to their heads. That’s a shame. Soon, fans turn into annoyances, and book signings a bore. Their circle tightens to include only the few fortunate elites with whom they rub elbows.
What happened?
Honestly, I’m not sure. But thankfully, this won’t happen to you. As an author, writer, or all-around amazing human being, you understand the importance of keeping emotions in check. Celebrate wins and achievements and be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Just remember, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.
I turn the mic over to my friends for grins, giggles, and sound advice. Here’s what they recommend for avoiding an inflated author ego.
“Keeping my ego in check as an author is all about expressing gratitude, which means consistently showing appreciation to others for their contributions in making my published work possible. When you live your values around servant leadership, it becomes second nature to focus on lifting others versus feeding your own ego. Focusing on the positive impact you create every day versus the recognition you receive keeps you humble, as does being transparent about the mistakes you’ve made and the learning you’ve applied to make yourself better. When you stop being consumed with “me” and put your energy into “we” through your writing, the possibilities are endless.” ~ Dan Albaum, exceptional strategic marketing leader and author of The Impact Makers.
“I’ve written and spoken about rejection many times, and I think rejection- any rejection- has a way of humbling someone and keeping someone grounded. Seriously and without exaggeration, when I wrote my first book, Stolen Lives, Book One of the Lives Trilogy, I was rejected by agents, publishing houses- you name it. Few requested anything beyond the first fifty pages. One agent finally accepted the manuscript, and she tried to get it published, but couldn’t. Finally, it was a tiny publisher no longer in existence that gave Stolen Lives its first home.
But the number of rejections I received could have wallpapered a room in my house. That is humbling. I questioned my ability to write and tell a story. I even questioned my literary worth. But … now, I have ten books published with a wonderful publisher, Black Rose Writing, and I’m working on number eleven. Still, I’ve not received the success and accolades Patterson, King or Baldacci have. I’ve not received the success some other authors in my publishing house receive. But honestly, I’ve learned that isn’t important to me. I write because I enjoy telling a story and making my characters come to life. I enjoy it when readers come back for more and tell me, as one did yesterday, about my most recent book, “I finished the book! Could not put it down! As always, you left me wanting more of that family’s story. I will be impatiently waiting for your next book!” It’s that feedback that keeps me going.” ~ Joseph Lewis, Author of Fan Mail and Betrayed.
“The idea of fame can be exciting, but in a way, readers are the true stars. They connect with the stories I tell, advocate for them, share them, and without them there’s no success. Staying humble is about focusing on the work. The joy of storytelling should always come first. My advice? Celebrate the wins, but keep creating because the passion for writing is what got you here.
Conversely, imposter syndrome is something many of us authors face (me included), no matter how successful we become. I’ve found that the key to combating it is remembering that everyone’s journey is unique, and there’s no one ‘right’ way to achieve success. The fear of being ‘found out’ can be overwhelming, but I focus on what I love—telling stories that connect with people. That passion keeps me grounded and reminds me that I belong here, just like anyone else.” ~ Michelle M. Pillow, NYT Bestselling Paranormal, SciFi & Fantasy Romance Fiction Author.
“Author egos, as any other successful persons’ egos, are commensurate with their success. It is relative. In some places, I am considered a success, and on occasion, I enjoy flaunting it. We mustn’t take ourselves too seriously. I don’t think “humble” can be generalized. Humble is innate and reflects the private person as an individual. Those things do not change with success. Those things guide the successful person to stay on that same path.
If the lure of fame is the only goal of any writer or artist, that will backfire sooner or later. If there is no passion, there is no success. As we know, good deeds bring good KARMA and vice versa. When your star begins to rise, enjoy it, love it, don’t let up. Continue working toward it as hard as before to stay on that rising track. Stop to smell the roses and appreciate yourself.” ~ Katherine MK Mitchell, author of From Budapest to Hollywood.
“I always emphasize the importance of staying grounded by remembering my purpose and the people I serve. I advise authors and rising stars to focus on their impact rather than seeking validation from fame. “Success isn’t about how many people know your name but how many lives you can change.” Staying humble and surrounding yourself with people who keep you accountable helps avoid the pitfalls of inflated egos.” ~ Sheena Yap Chan. Wallstreet Journal Bestselling Author on Confidence and Leadership.
“It’s difficult to keep an ego in check when we know the ego seeks attention. Ego is what we do for others, but we want them to feel envy and jealousy to fuel us and to show others what we can achieve. Being humble is about sharing what you do to have an impact and make a difference for others, not only for accolades and public recognition. Ego doesn’t care about impact. People who have a big ego have been brought up lacking love. They don’t feel enough and always look for attention. They feed themselves from what others say about themselves instead of standing in their authenticity.” ~ Cristina Dovan, Author and Mindvalley Certified Life Coach/Mindset and Transformation, based in the UK.
Thank you for letting me take part. Always an enjoyable experience!