The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters
A friend recommended this book by Priya Parker to me. I wasn’t sure it applied to me, thinking the focus was on professional meetings, but I soon changed my opinion. From two to two hundred, Parker, an expert on “gatherings,” shares how to make the interactions fortuitous and invigorating. The intentions of a small book club, family get-together, or large conference are seemingly obvious, but are they? Her vast experience working with large organizations and small groups supports her conclusion that planning is key. Forethought coupled with small intentional choices “takes an ordinary moment…and makes it unforgettable.”
One of the most desired outcomes of gatherings is connecting with new people. However, this is often forgotten, with the hosts focusing too intently on the goal or outdated rules and structure and less on the people element. She shares a story of a retirement home inviting young musicians in need of housing to stay “for a song.” Literally, the artists would play instruments and entertain the residents in return for room and board. Turns out the experiment was such a “hit,” it’s become a nationwide model. A perfect example of breaking from the norm and antiquated structure and creating space for bringing people, in this case, polar generations, together.
Some of the strategies for creating memorable events include purpose, specificity, uniqueness, and drilling down to the core insight of the meeting, for example, solving a problem or pursuing an outcome.
Working backward from the desired results can produce magic. Imagine a dinner with close friends. This is a perfect opportunity to share food, drink, stories, emotions, needs, and desires. But if the focus is only on the hosts, it can lead to a feeling of imbalance or disconnect. Sure, this is a commonplace gathering, but even if it’s a common occurrence or a ritual between best friends, ensure each guest’s time and space to contribute and feel acknowledged. To ensure success, even the name of the gathering matters. If it’s too specific, it may not feel inviting, yet on the other hand, a name that’s too broad can be misleading. She even instructs how the physical elements, such as special layout and entryway, can set the tone.
“Much of the time we spend gathering with other people disappoints us.” However, Priya passionately believes that everyone can gather well. This book is a must-read for just about everyone. It will change how you prepare for a gathering and how you attend and approach one. And yes, make it uplifting. With the ultimate purpose of making the most of the precious time you spend with others, magical and memorable, The Art of Gathering is a delightful guidebook to ensure success for one and all.
Source: Purchased
Image: Courtesy of Penguin Random House
