The “Right” Way to Write is Your Way to Write”
Guest Post by Jen Braaksma
Like many writers, I was always pretty shy about my work. I would rarely discuss my work-in-progress, nor chat about my interests. It felt too vulnerable; for all I knew, writers and authors are supposed to have a thick skin, but I most definitely did not.
But I’d heard time and time again how you had to put yourself out there—how could you ever make headway if you couldn’t learn to accept rejection? (Or opinions on your writing of any kind.)
I worked up my courage; I showed my writing to an old friend. Dutifully, she read it. “Yeah,” she said dismissively, “I’m just not interested.”
I’d been preparing for my pages to be ripped apart. I’d been steeling myself for a flurry of criticisms. I had not prepared myself for utter indifference.
It hurt more than any outright rejection (I would know; I’ve since experienced many, many rejections, criticisms, and yes, complete disinterest). I pulled back into my shell. I didn’t show anyone anything for a long time.
And then there was the advice about following a story template. Stories are universal for a reason, I heard. Follow the right “beats” and you’ll end up with a solid story. I did (follow the right beats) and I didn’t (end up with a solid story).
And when I’d heard from everybody that you had to have an author platform, I cringed. I’m not big into social media—I prefer more personal, one-on-one connections, preferably in person. Where would I even start? Overwhelmed, I hired an expert. She did her job well; she set me up on a few social media sites and even managed them for me for a while. Yet it all felt fake. I was providing material to her, and she was turning it into content appropriate for the audience, but still, it didn’t feel like me.
You know what all these examples have in common? Advice that isn’t wrong—just wrong for me. What took me a long time to learn in the writing world? There is no one “right” way to write.
Instead, there is a right way for each author (obviously, or you wouldn’t be reading their book). The key, I learned the hard way, is not to ask, “What should I do?” The key is to ask “What did you do?”
From there, you have control. You decide what feels right to you. You find your process.
You need a starting point; advice can be a good thing. But remember not to make it the only thing. Just as your favorite book is most likely different from mine, so, too, is your writing process. I’ll talk all day about what works for me—and I do, when I work with my clients as their book coach—but I always remind them that my suggestions are a guide. If my way is not their way, we persevere through trial and error to find theirs.
Writing is hard! It’s beneficial to receive advice, help, encouragement, support, feedback, and coaching. Listen and learn—but then?
Trust yourself.
It’s your story. It’s your heart. You know them best.
Jen Braaksma is the author of two young adult novels, Evangeline’s Heaven and Amaranth, plus Befriending Betsy, a memoir coming out in December 2025. A former journalist and high school English teacher, Jen is now a book coach who helps writers develop their stories. She lives in Ottawa, Canada, with her husband (soulmates do exist!), two daughters (Best. Kids. Ever.) and her four cats (who know they’re in charge).
Image Courtesy of Pixabay
