When You Should Say “No” to a Project
When the call comes in for a book deal, collaboration, writing project, speaking event, or any opportunity to publish or elevate your author journey, why would you say ‘no ’? It might shock you to know that just about every author has said ‘no’ a time or two. They’ve also been the recipient of adverse responses or rejections, so that makes it even more surprising they would say no of their own accord.
However, as you read on, you’ll discover why saying ‘no’ is sometimes necessary.
First, saying ‘no,’ and letting go is incredibly liberating, but it takes courage and practice. Of course, it’s also essential to deliver appropriately, with gratitude and professionalism. Thoughtfully applying it to the right circumstances, ‘no’ suddenly becomes compassionate and liberating. It protects you and others from undertaking something that would later cause regret. Need more reasons why your best answer should be ‘no’ and how to deliver it, guilt-free? Read this: Why Your Best Answer is ‘No.’
Back to your “why.”
When it comes to saying ‘no’, don’t be afraid to wield it when your inner warning bells are ringing. If something doesn’t feel right or is too good to be true, then it probably warrants a ‘no.’ It might feel like a letdown to decline any opportunity along your author’s journey, but there are instances where you may ultimately regret it. While my goal for you, as an author and writer, is to celebrate wins and eagerly accept opportunities that come your way, proceed with caution.
To share a few instances where you may need to say ‘no,’ I turn the mic over to my author friends and experts who’ve offered their stories and advice on when you should say “No” to a Project:
“When your name or work will be diluted or misused, the answer is no. And when your instincts whisper doubt — listen. “No” is the guardian of your goals. A publishing deal early in my career that looked glamorous on paper but felt hollow at the core. It required me to dilute my voice and brand. I walked away and thank goodness I did. That ‘no’ led me to self-publish in 2009 (book no. 1) with full creative control. If the agent (or publisher) doesn’t get your voice, vision, or values — walk away, especially if it doesn’t feel like a partnership. The right match is out there. No deal is better than a bad one.” ~ Lisa Mirza Grotts, etiquette expert and founder of The Golden Rules Gal™
“‘No’ is sometimes the best answer when something doesn’t align with your values. Living a life in line with your values can give you more clarity about when to say yes and when to say no. I was in an unhealthy relationship (and business partnership), caught in a cycle of repeating patterns and not seeing eye to eye. Despite my gut telling me ‘No,’ I secretly wanted to say ‘yes,’ stay, fix it, and make it work (I had a lot invested). But I eventually reached a point where I had to say ‘no’ and walk away. One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard is: “You can make the right decision and still be sad.” That stayed with me, a reminder that even though the best decision can feel impossible, sometimes the best answer is ‘no’.” ~ Risa August, award-winning author, speaker, Gestalt practitioner, and patient advocate.
“After I published a few murder mysteries, a childhood friend who had moved to New Mexico (while I was living in Omaha) got excited about them. She reached out and invited me to her home for a book reading and talk at one of her local bookstores. She even offered to host me at her place. She thought it would be a great chance for me, and she wanted to give me that opportunity. I politely declined. I’m sure she thought I was nuts – and I didn’t really explain why, because the reasons I’d have to give would make me sound like a loser. What she didn’t realize was that bookstores are tough places for authors who aren’t household names. They expect you to draw a crowd, which means paying for your own ads and bringing the books yourself (a challenge in figuring out how many to bring – how many boxes would it be worth flying out?). Sadly, sometimes just two or three books are enough – again, cost-wise. And after all that effort, bookstore owners can get annoyed if you don’t draw a big crowd and sell a lot of books, which usually nets them around 40% of your total earnings. If you’re not a household name, the world isn’t your oyster.” ~ Robin Leemann Donovan, author of Donna Leigh Mysteries.
“I’ve had to say no several times throughout my writing career. One time, when all my copywriting work dried up, my only offers were low paying with unrealistic expectations. Another was when I had the opportunity to ghostwrite fiction full-time, but neither the pay nor the workload matched my needs. For both, I knew they would make me hate writing, and I do it because I love writing, but I still need money to live. I also declined a request for a full manuscript for my romance novel because the publisher had limited distribution, no social media presence, and their books were ranking poorly on Amazon. I should have researched them before submitting my opening chapters.” ~ ~ Amanda Nicholson, author of Death to All Men.
“I had an offer on a second book, but when I paused and looked at what that partnership would look like, I knew I should wait it out for a more aligned publisher. It was hard to turn down a book deal when I didn’t have another waiting in the wings, but it was the right decision. People pleasers often struggle with saying no because they are concerned about disappointing others. I tell my divorce clients that it is none of their business what their friends and family say about their decision to end their marriage. That applies to any situation when someone expects you to sacrifice yourself for their benefit.” ~ Renee Bauer, Divorce attorney, author, and founder of Happy Even After Family Law.
“I once turned down a publishing deal that seemed perfect on paper, but deep inside, I knew it wasn’t the right fit. It didn’t match my voice or the core of my message. Saying no felt intimidating at the time, but it became one of the most empowering choices I’ve made. That ‘no’ protected my purpose and created space for the right opportunity to come my way.” ~ Jennifer Perri-CEO of SHERO Coaching | 5x Best-selling Author | Impact Speaker.
“I declined an opportunity to join as a contributing author to a collaborative project, not because I was interested in the topic but rather to honor myself, my time, and to recognize that I did not have the capacity to take on one more project at the time.” ~ Kamini Wood, Certified Human Potential Coach, Owner Live Joy Your Way.
“Recently, I declined a book contract. Although I was incredibly flattered to be approached by a publisher, thrilled to receive great feedback on my first chapters, and happy to have a generous contract offered in response, I had to say, “No, thank you.” And that was incredibly hard. It was something I never would’ve thought I’d do as an author, but it wasn’t a good fit.” ~ Kimberly Monaghan, author and host of Books Uplift.
“I was offered a contract that looked amazing on paper…money, prestige, access…but it would’ve taken me away from my purpose and voice. Saying no was hard, but it opened doors to something far more fulfilling. When something feels shiny but shallow, say ‘no.’ When people want your energy but not your wisdom, walk away. Saying ‘no’ is not rejection. It’s redirection to something better.” When something feels rushed, unclear, or inconsistent with your gut…that’s a sign. If you’re shrinking yourself to make it fit, it’s not for you. Respect the whisper before it becomes a scream.” ~ Tom LeNoble, coach, speaker, and founder of the RiskAbility Factor™ and the Resileader™ brand. And CEO of the ICF-certified Academy for Coaching Excellence.
“As an author, I seldom say “no” to a project unless what is requested goes 100% against my morals or values. As an editor, I say “no” to a project when the author does not honor or respect my professional advice. I understand that it is “their book,” but when someone insists on wanting to publish without proper editing and fleshing out a story, character(s) or plot, I do not want my name associated with the project at all. I’ve refused projects and stopped working with authors for this.” ~ Pamela S Thibodeaux author of Inspirational with an Edge! ™ romance and women’s fiction & owner of Pamela S Thibodeaux Enterprises, LLC.
I hope this article provided you with a few applicable ideas. I would be honored if you shared this on social media. And speaking of sharing, please share your ideas and experiences below. Together, we can build an uplifting community that supports each other’s happiness, well-being, creativity, and success.
