Nicole Dake is an author, mom of three, and blogger on parenting with a focus on health and wellness for moms and kids. Nicole has a BA in Psychology with a minor in Religious Studies from the University of Colorado and a Paralegal Certification from Boston University. Though she’s originally from the United States, she currently resides in Frankfurt, Germany and has published three books. Additionally, Nicole won the BookFest Award for best Mental Health Book 2022 for Trauma Survivor’s Guide to Coping With Panic Attacks.

Nicole’s latest release is a how-to guide written to help those who are recovering from narcissistic abuse. There is a section on narcissistic parents, and a section on narcissistic relationships, inspired by her personal experiences. Trauma Survivor’s Guide to Coping With Panic Attacks combines science and research with personal experience and explains why people feel so abused and discarded after a relationship with a narcissist. Meet Nicole Dake…

You are an author, but is it your day job? Currently yes, it is my day job. I am also a blogger and a mom. So, I spend a lot of time with my six-year-old. I fell into writing full time after my overseas move last April because I didn’t have a work visa yet in Germany. So, I started writing more and finished three books last year. 

Did you always want to be an author? I’ve wanted to be an author since I was in eighth grade and discovered poetry. I have always written for myself, but just started publishing in 2021. I started two books before that which I never finished and may revisit. 

What is your most recent book and what inspired you to write it? My most recent book is A Narcissist Destroyed my Life: How do I Rebuild? I was inspired to write it by my own life events. I grew up with a mom who was a narcissist, then I was in a long-term relationship with one. As I have been healing, I wanted to provide healing and hope to others. 

How do you hope your book uplifts those who read it? I hope that they will learn to cope with the narcissist in their life, and to begin the journey to recovery from narcissistic abuse.

What are you most excited about with this book? I am most excited about being able to help others who are struggling in the ways that I have struggled myself. 

How did writing a book help your career take off? I am still making a new career in writing. I feel like writing a book has helped people take my writing more seriously. 

What advice would you give to someone wanting to succeed in your professional industry? To succeed as a writer, I think it takes determination, persistence, and passion. You may not be successful right away, so you must keep at it until you make it.

How do you handle setbacks and criticism? I try to handle setbacks and criticism in a positive manner. I want to learn from my mistakes and improve in the future.

Being an author today is like running a business. How do you manage it all? I have a blog, and I use a lot of social media to engage with my readers. It is great to be able to get feedback right away with socials.

How do you hold yourself accountable and achieve the goals that you set forth? I am big on goal setting and have written about it quite a bit. My second book, Happy. Healthy. Rich. The smart mom’s guide to living your best life, is built around a goal-setting framework. I hold myself accountable by writing out my goals as SMART goals. That stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time bound. Specificity is important so that I can tell when I have met my goals. If a goal is too vague, then you can’t tell if you have met it or not. If you have times on your goals, it can help you to achieve them more easily.

How do you structure your day and make time for writing? I write first thing in the morning for at least an hour. This is when I get up a new blog post. Then I work on editing and marketing during the day when my daughter is in kindergarten. Usually, I am working on some aspect of my writing on and off throughout the day, interspersed with household tasks.

What do you find most fulfilling in the career that you’ve chosen? I love writing because it makes me feel like I am making a difference to others in the world. I really have always wanted to help people, and writing makes me feel like I do.

What book uplifts you? One of the most uplifting books I have read is The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. It talks about how she says no to everything, and then she spends a year saying yes instead to see what impact it has on her life. It is compelling, and she is funny too at times so that makes it a great read. 

Anything else you’d like to share with your readers? No matter what you do in life, don’t ever give up on yourself. You can make your dreams come true if you really set your mind to it and have dedication.

Connect with Nicole Dake on her website @ www.millenialmom.net

Images Courtesy of Nicole Dake